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1. by improving mood and helping with depression.
2. by easing anxiety and stress
3. by improving sleep, often a problem in early recovery.
4. by facilitating clear-headedness, something that may take some time to regain in early recovery.
5. by filling the time that you used to fill with using.
6. by connecting you with non-using friends who engage in healthy activities

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For these reasons, our weekly client newsletter has been covering some AA-related topics – such as slogans and certain practices that go on at meetings. While we find that some are useful, others are inconsistent with the approaches we find to be most helpful for our clients. And, as is the case with most aspects of treatment and recovery, some of these AA practices help certain individuals but not others. 
 
One strong theme at many AA meetings is one of anti-intellectualism or wariness of intellectualization. You often hear sayings like, “Leave your brain by the door”, “Utilize, don’t analyze”, and “Your best thinking got you here.” All suggest that you should “Take the cotton out of your ears and put it in your mouth”, another bit of advice that’s sometimes proffered at AA meetings.
 
Such slogans suggest that if you weren’t smart enough to avoid drinking or drug problems, how would you be smart enough to end them? They also suggest that you should ‘shut up and listen to people who know better.’
 
A bit of a conflict, AA attendees might also be exhorted, “Think, think think” —reflecting good advice to pause before engaging in impulsive action (such as using alcohol or drugs again). It seems you’re supposed to think, but not too much!
 
At Practical Recovery, we respect your thinking, value your input, and involve clients in the process of planning what goes on. We find that our clients typically have pretty good insights about what helps them and what doesn’t. Research studies affirm that people do better in treatment when they’re approached this way – and most do better if they rely upon their own good thinking, getting and sifting through input and support from a variety of sources. (And we really don’t believe that any of our clients think that their “best thinking” got them into an addictive or abusive relationship with alcohol or drugs.)

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So often, when someone is trying to get off drugs or alcohol, it’s all about the substances. The focus is on notdrinking, not taking painkillers, having urine tests showing you’re off the stuff. But an extensive body of research demonstrates that reinforcing an alternative, competing behavior can reduce participation in an unwanted behavior.

 So instead of focusing on “not using”, Practical Recovery encourages setting up a competition with drug and alcohol use. Here are some possibilities:

 •  Learn a new skill or start a hobby— take a fun “adult ed” class such as cooking, sewing, dancing, or foreign language – something you’ve always wanted to do.

 • Go to a recovery or mental health support, church, or spiritual group.

 • Go for a walk, to the gym, for a swim, or for a run – just get some exercise and make it part of your routine.

 • Form friendships with non-using people and avoid drug-using friends.

 • Spend time with family members (who don’t use.)

 • Look for a job or a more meaningful work.

 • Go to a mental-health counselor.

 • Volunteer – for instance, at a hospital, animal shelter, long-term care facility for the elderly.

 Studies suggest that the more “competitors” you have for “use”, the better – in other words, adopting a range of activities (and engaging in them frequently) is more likely to help than is relying on any specific strategy.

 What competitors do you think will help you win?

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There’s good reason for this. Not only do we focus more on helping our clients resolve underlying issues that connect with using drugs and alcohol, but we also believe that dwelling on the past is not very productive. Rather, we want to help you move on.
 
So often, particularly in early recovery, all a person can think about is “not using” and ways to “not use.” Why not fill your head with, “What can I do in place of using? How can I fill the void? What other ways can I seek pleasure?”
 
Make a list of all things, big and small, you can or do to fill that void – for instance, throw a frisbee, play catch with your kid (or your dog), go bowling or fishing, work out, start a collection or craft, or connect with a non-using long-lost friend.
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Although some have challenged the prayer’s origins, Cheever cites Niebuhr’s
original prayers as:

“God give us the grace to accept with serenity the things that cannot be changed,
“courage to change the things that should be changed, and the wisdom to
distinguish the one from the other.”

The prayer’s sentiments nicely express the need to balance acceptance of things
we can’t do anything about with seeking inner fortitude to alter what we can –
all tempered by knowing our personal limits. In recovery, you need to balance
courage to change with acceptance because if you really try rely on either one
alone, it’s not productive. Some people rely more on the courage-to-change side
while others rely more on the acceptance side.

At Practical Recovery, we find that many of our clients expect life to be more
about what they do – that is, about taking action – rather than what happens
to them. But everyone needs to find a balance between taking action and
acceptance.

What are some things you can change in your life right now?

What are some things you can accept that you cannot change, at least for now?

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The post Rules for Happiness (from the SMART Recovery website) appeared first on Reunion San Diego.

This past weekend our residents went on a whale watching tour, leaving from the San Diego harbor.  This time of year, whales are migrating south to warmer waters, so it is a wonderful time to spot them on their trip down to Mexico. 

“I’m sitting atop the deck of our ship, frustrated with my hair blowing everywhere except back from my face, impatiently waiting for the now half hour delayed voyage to get started. I turn to the residents and they don’t look much more pleased than I do. One of the residents tells me that he is having a hard time dealing with cravings, so–pushing my hair out of my eyes–I ask him, “What would Nancy (Dr. Nancy Shah, our post doctorate psychology fellow) say?” He pauses for a minute, and his fellow resident laughs before chiming in with an excellent impersonation: “Do you see where we are? It’s a beautiful day! How could you have cravings in a place like this?” She pauses for a minute, laughs, and continues. “Take a deep breath, feel the softness of the seat beneath you. Feel the wind blowing through your hair. Feel the wind brushing your skin. Notice the feeling of the air in your nose as you breath in– is it cold, is it hot?” We sit in silence, breathing softly, some with eyes closed, as she continues for another minute, bringing awareness to our senses. When she stops, she laughs, and her fellow resident looks at her. He says simply, “Thank you. I feel a lot better now.” Surprisingly, we all did.”

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There’s been a lot of talk about “willpower” lately, in part because of a recently published book by psychologist Roy Baumeister. Ph.D. and journalist, John Tierney called Willpower: Rediscovering the Greatest Human Strength. The truth is that Dr. Baumeister tends to talk more about self-control, a term we at Practical Recovery prefer. Why?

Willpower is the resistance of desire when it arises – if you’ve ever been to an AA meeting, they call it “white knuckling it.” It’s gritting your teeth and just saying, “No.”

Self-control, on the other hand, is taking steps to change your environment and your thinking so that the desires arise with less intensity and less frequency. It’s getting rid of those triggers or cues that serve as reminders for using substances you’re trying to stay away from. For instance, self-control is getting rid of your favorite martini and wine glasses, going to movies rather than bars with your friends (or hanging out with nondrinking friends), using positive self-talk when you feel down on yourself, or going for a walk when you get into an argument with a spouse.

What are some ways you can engineer your physical, emotional, or social environment this week so your desire to use arises with less frequency and less intensity?

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 At Practical Recovery, we view recovery as a process, not as a singular event. And we never make people who have a slip or a relapse feel like they “have to start counting all over again.” How you mark your progress is up to you. But we feel it’s important to take note of the small steps forward, whether it’s drinking or using less or not at all, making progress in your professional or personal life, or whatever it is that makes you feel you’re headed in the right direction.

 What small steps are you going to take this week to begin, refresh, or sustain your long-term goals for recovery or a healthier lifestyle? How will you reward yourself for moving in the direction you desire?

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